The Terror of an Iranian Flying Monkey

It’s a sign of our times that Tehran is beginning to look like a better Starfleet headquarters than San Francisco.

On Monday, January 28th, 2012, Iranian scientists announced the successful launch and return of the capsule Pishgam (Pioneer), containing a live monkey who survived the trip; a significant step in the Asian Space Race.

State Department spokeswoman Victoria Nuland responded to the event in Washington, saying to reporters “We congratulate the ISA on this momentous achievement; I was overjoyed to see the pictures of the little guy making it safely back to the ground, and all our staff at NASA are honoured that you’ve continued on in the naming conventions of our early probes–”

Oops – my bad, I was channelling the Real Universe for a moment there. Here in the evil Mirror Universe she said “I saw the monkey – the pictures of the poor little monkey preparing to go to space… We don’t have any way to confirm this one way or the other with regard to the primate.”

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Aurini

There's nothing like a good Rye-Whisky to dull the pain of staring at the ugliness of this world. Sometimes it's almost more than a man can bear, but someone's gotta dig down into the rotten, hateful core. I'm a writer, goddamnit, and that's my job.

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