Accepting Vampires for Whom They Are

This is a post about how liberalism and tolerance ruin everything.  It’s also a post about a webcomic titled The Order of the Stick, so I’ll need to take a moment to describe it to you.

OotS is a masterful work by Richard Burlew, set in a universe governed by the laws of Dungeons & Dragons.  The comic’s not only hilarious, but it’s full of high drama, as well.  Burlew manages to take the cartoony nature of the good/evil alignment system and create complex, deep characters out of it, villains with understandable motivations.  The comic can go very dark at times, and he has such a complex plot planned out that clues will be given out months in advance.

It’s masterful storytelling, with each new panel leaving you on the edge of your seat.

So where does Liberalism come in?  Not with Burlew, I’m happy to say, but with the commenters on his forum.  To explain what’s going on, a quick recap of the recent comics is necessary.  Bear with me, I’ll try not to lose you in too much nerd speak:

Dramatis Personae

Durkon Thundershield: a Dwarven Cleric (that is, a warrior priest) to Thor.  Wields divine magic, and believes in Truth, Justice, and the Asgardian Way

Malack: a Lizardperson Cleric to Nergal, the lion-headed God of death and destruction.  He’s part of a team of evil adventurers, who’ve been playing different empires off each other by working behind the scenes, to slowly consolidate power.

He’s also remarkably charming, reasonable, and polite.  The sort of evil priest you could sit down and have tea with, while discussing the finer points of theology (as Durkon did, a few dozen comics back).

The big reveal over the past few comics is that Malack is a 200 year old Vampire, leading to a massive debate in the forums as to whether he’s Neutral or Evil or what.  Which is ridiculous, because of one simple fact -according to the rule books, Vampires are always evil!  No exceptions.  No sparkling.  No bullshit.  Vampires in the D&D universe are twisted undead monstrosities who feed on the blood of innocents and worship dark gods.  The only possible redemption for a vampire is death and resurrection, followed by atonement – but since Malack is much older than his natural lifespan, resurrection would merely bring back a pile of bones.

He is completely unredeemable.

And yet people were still trying to argue that he must be True Neutral, or Lawful Neutral, or something, because he’s a remarkably charming and polite person.  This ridiculous argument was finally put to bed when he gave away his long-term plans for the Empire of Blood in the latest comic: he’s going to build an Altar to Nergal, where he’ll sacrifice 1000 lives a day in an Aztec-esque celebration of the Gods of Death.

Yup, this creature is an utter abomination: case closed.

Now I can understand why people want to give him the benefit of the doubt (a testament to Burlew’s writing, Malack is such a Nice Guy, after all!), but then I ran into this comment, which is such a perfect example of damaged-amygdala, multi-culti, embrace-the-monster Liberal Nonsense that I was driven to post about it (click to see the fully-zoomed image):

Capture

200 year old walking abominations, who’ve been surviving off the blood of innocents… and we’re not supposed to be “judgmental” of them.  If they can’t even admit that Evil exists in a morally certain fictional universe, what hope do they have of recognizing it in the real world?

None.  None whatsoever.

I’ll leave it to the reader to speculate about the gender and LGBT logo, though I’m left wondering what sort of evil has been committed against this person?  Evil that they insist is Good, of course.  Be gentle, folks, don’t go trolling.

Leo M.J. Aurini

Trained as a Historian at McMaster University, and as an Infantry soldier in the Canadian Forces, I'm a Scholar, Author, Film Maker, and a God fearing Catholic, who loves women for their illogical nature.

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10 Responses

  1. Categories+Sheaves says:

    Putting his politics aside, I think Brecht has the right words for the occasion:

    The Interrogation of the Good

    Step forward: we hear
    That you are a good man.
    You cannot be bought, but the lightning
    Which strikes the house, also
    Cannot be bought.
    You hold to what you said.
    But what did you say?
    You are honest, you say your opinion.
    Which opinion?
    You are brave.
    Against whom?
    You are wise.
    For whom?
    You do not consider your personal advantages.
    Whose advantages do you consider then?
    You are a good friend.
    Are you also a good friend of the good people?
    Hear us then: we know.
    You are our enemy. This is why we shall
    Now put you in front of a wall. But in consideration
    of your merits and good qualities
    We shall put you in front of a good wall and shoot you
    With a good bullet from a good gun and bury you
    With a good shovel in the good earth.

  2. Cogitans says:

    Your touching on exactly something that I wrote about before, coincidently it also had something to do with vampires. I think the defanging of vampires from a symbol of pure unadulterated avarice, compelled to forever walk the earth and steal the life force of innocents, into a whinny sparkling magical sex gods is indicative of how our society has taken what used to, rightly, be considered something to be looked down upon, waton gluttony, slothfulness, infantilism, an imprudence and now lauds them as virtues. Because how dare we judge.

  3. Cogitans says:

    I also agree with your assesment that this vampire is unredemable. And so would Brahm Stocker

    In the novel Dracula the husband of Lucy, a women recently turned into a vampire by Dracula, saves her soul by plunging a stake into her heart and killing here. He had some reservations about doing so, who wouldn’t when you contemplate staking your own wife, but Van Helsing said the deed must be done before too much time had passed before she was too far gone. Killing her undead body now was the only way to save her soul from eternal damnation and give her peace.

    Like a black hole, evil has an event horizon, and once crossed there is no returning because at that point the individual has so tarnished and distorted their soul that they cannot even concieve, let alone want, real repentence and atonment.

    Ed: Do you have the link handy to your vampire story? I love your blog.

    The black hole of redemption is a model I also apply to schedule II personality disorders. As the narcissistic shell strengthens, the intensity of the internal shame increases, until the point is reached where admitting fault is utterly impossible. The closest you can ever get is seeing Narcissistic Rage.

  4. Cogitans says:

    Unfortunately I only have the hard copy of Bram Stockers story. I’ve recently become fascinated with it after being involuntarily compelled due to sickess to watch the garbage that passes for vampire stories now a days.

    I look forward to your analysis of wights and the undead and morality.

  5. David says:

    And with that I’m going to go finish my day with Lord of the Rings: Return of the King to watch the fight of good vs evil… on shrooms.

    Not sure how shroom-friendly y’all are, but it’s an interesting experience where you watch a movie under the influence of them – you identify with the characters on a deeper level. When I watched The Fellowship… I was Aragorn. Made me realize why I always found his character so interesting… I identified with his struggle to overcome the weakness committed by his own blood. And Boromir was both my friend and my father, as well as a warning of what not to be. Filled with good intent, but deeply erred by a weakness/jealousy that grabs ahold of him until the end. You better believe it gave me food for thought (which turned out for the best).

    Ed: What is the power of the one right? Why, nothing at all – a bit of invisibility, nonsense, really; it’s hardly magic.

    It’s merely Gold; this is what enslaves the kings of men.

    http://chechar.wordpress.com/2011/10/08/wagners-wisdom/

  6. David says:

    Awesome link. To be entirely honest, by the time I got home after going for a long walk, I didn’t much feel like watching a 4 hour movie so I opted to read that article. I’m not usually one to denounce an entire tribe – I find there are enough people who do that to an extreme – but I think it paints a rather vivid picture about the villainy of greed.

    Frankly, it reminds me of my first dive into the Red Pill movement. Unfortunately, my first initiation was from a source which I eventually realized was a narcissist – he was evil, or at the very least doing evil. He celebrates the Dark Triad here (which, for awhile, I convinced myself was inherently good in a sort of Darwinian practical sense): http://www.solvemygirlproblems.com/2012/03/dark-triad/

    Unfortunately, I internalized a lot of his values, the good and the bad, before I realized how terrible it truly was. Now I’m trying to sort through the train wreck, brushing off what was good about myself before going down that road and identifying that which was actually good advice. In a way, I feel this is the essence of much of the Red Pill movement – they embrace the traits of the Dark Triad whereas the alt-right don’t. And Men’s Rights are “good” guys.

  7. Thomas says:

    For another recent, non sparkly vampire story I recommend the anime Shiki. It has a plot which develops wonderfully from a tragedy to a mystery to a horror, and uses all the old cultural myths about vampires and their servants.

  8. dg says:

    I’ve never read Anne Rice, but part of the humanization of vampires can be laid at her feet. And at the White Wolf role=playing game “Vampire: The Masquerade.”

    That said, while the “better” vampires in the RPG version were not irredeemably evil, they still warred against their overwhelming lusts. Finally – some of the various tribes of vampires were as cold, calculating, and sometimes bestially evil as anything Bram Stoker wrote of.

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